Seriously? Where has the time gone? I can not believe that it has been a year since I started this phase of my weight loss transformation, fitness journey what ever you want to call it. There are so many thoughts going through my head right now, I don’t even know where to begin!
So to quote one of my favorite musicals, let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. Just over two years ago, I joined Sweatmood Fitness , and took the first step towards getting myself healthy. Coincidentally, Oct 12th marks two years since one of the trainers started, and she posted this lovely picture on Facebook this morning. Yes, I cropped it to just show me, but that was me Oct 12th 2014. Yes, I was the biggest one in the class, but dammit I was there and doing something about it.
I worked out for a year, and made some impressive strides in my journey to being a new me. But last year, Oct 12th 2015 marked the beginning of this stage of my journey. Weighing in at 202.4, determined to change, determined to get to my goal weight of 150, and scared to death that I would fail yet again.
I have busted my ass this last year. Worked out 4-6 times a week whenever possible, stuck to my meal prep and calorie counting, and dammit – I HAVE SUCCEEDED. But wow, the lessons learned, emotions and crazy thoughts going through my head – so here we go! Just the honest truth, the good, the bad and the ugly!
One of the hardest things I have learned from this is that not everyone will be happy for you. And honestly, that kinda sucks. When you change your lifestyle and people around you do not, it isn’t always pretty. People don’t always understand what you are doing, and how they deal with it isn’t always nice. I have been told that I spend too much time at the gym, had my food choices mocked, been asked how much more weight I could possibly want to lose and flat out told that I would never accomplish my goals and that since I was crazy for trying, why bother. It sounds silly, but realizing that people ridicule what they don’t understand, and act out when they are jealous is not a reflection of me but more of a reflection of them is kind of a shocking realization to come to. Fortunately, these people are the minority, doesn’t mean that they haven’t gotten under my skin, just means that I now see their insecurities for what they are, and have continued to live my life on my terms, flipping a figurative middle finger at the lot of them, and loving proving them wrong.
A good thing that I have learned is that I CAN do anything I set my mind to. I had a goal, I worked hard and I reached it. If I can do that with my health and fitness, what else can I apply it to and succeed where I never thought I could? Do you know how many windows that opens? Really, the possibility of what a human being can do is endless! I am so looking forward to what the future holds. Not just on a fitness and health level but on a personal and professional level as well.
Emotionally there have been so many highs – finally breaking that 3 hour mark and setting a PR in the Santa Rosa Half Marathon, reaching my goal weight and maintaining it since August, and most importantly the sense of gratitude that has come to define my life and relationships. I could have never done all of this without the support of the people in my life – from my husband, daughters, parents and extended family, to my amazing trainers and friends, the unconditional love and support has been so important. Realizing that there are people who have your back and want nothing but to lift you up and see you succeed, with no thought of what your success could mean to them, is such an incredible feeling. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by that kind of love and friendship, and these people have been there to lift me through all the hard times and to celebrate all of the successes as well. My people are amazing, and I am so grateful to have all of them in my life.
There have been lows too, don’t get me wrong! From my inner fat chick messing with my head and telling me I can’t do things, to not losing the weight as fast as I wanted to, and gaining seven pounds during a Disneyland trip to name a few – this journey has not always been easy. But I am learning to deal with these kinds of things. My inner fat chick is the worst, she still messes with me and makes me question whether or not I can do things, I am learning not to listen to her – she is the old me, and I can’t let her interfere with the new me. Not losing the weight as fast as I wanted has been very difficult – but I have learned to trust the process and be patient, it happened, just not as quickly as I wanted, and I do have to say that I am proud of myself for not letting the discouragement get the best of me. Gaining weight at Disneyland was an easy lesson to learn – don’t eat crap and think it’s not gonna catch up with you!
So where do I go from here? Is my fitness journey over? Not by a long shot – there is still so much I want to do! I want to maintain my weight which is a tangible measurement of where I have come, but there are other less tangible things I want to accomplish. For instance, I still can’t do a push up on my toes and I really want to master that dammit, and I want my abs to not look so squishy, I also took my first yoga class this week and I really want to be able to do it well and not feel like an uncoordinated moose!
Another thing I would like to do, and I am still not sure how to do it, is to help others have the success I have had. I am a firm believer that success should be shared, and while I know that I don’t want to be a trainer, I do want to help people achieve their goals by sharing what have been my keys to success. I am not sure what that will look like, but it is coming in some way, shape or form.
So stay tuned my friends, because this party is just getting started!